Hey, I really need some advice and confidence. I used to be in a 2 year relationship and when my ex and I used to do stuff he would always tell me to go down on him. I NEVER felt comfortable or keen to do it but every time I didnt he would get really angry and make me feel guilty (I know that wasn’t right and trust me till this day I regret it and can’t believe how stupid I was to let him have that control over me) sometimes, he would force my head down and push it up and down on him. I always thought that blowjobs was gross, the taste, smell and idea. When he would cum, I refused to swallow, I’m not into that.

Anywho, I’m in a new relationship and this guy is lovely, he said “ I only want whatever you feel comfortable doing, I don’t mind if it’s nothing, as long as you feel comfortable”. We’ve just started having sex but I want to give him a blowjob, I actually want to pleasure him myself. The last guy put me off but I think I’m ready.

My questions are:

1. How do I build up my confidence beforehand so I don’t back out?

2. How do I get past the idea of gagging when I’m doing it because of how gross I find it? How do i stop from thinking that it’s gross?

3. If I don’t want to swallow and he came in my mouth, how do I go to the bathroom to spit it out without it being awkward and uncomfortable?

4. Just blowjob tips in general. Speed, sucking, taking a break, manoeuvres etc.

Please help, very inexperienced and very self conscious to ask for help face to face.

❤️❤️